Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
