HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
