He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
