yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
