You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
