I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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