the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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