And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
