Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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