ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
