the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
