what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
