we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize