im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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