who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
