In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I wish you could order shots online.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize