nut hugger
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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