new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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