Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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