grandma shit on top of the toilet
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
