I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
