someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
