Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
