Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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