Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
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