This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My penis needs a shock collar
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
