So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
