good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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