Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
