I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
