so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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