i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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