In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
