i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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