If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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