im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
