everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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