i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize