Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
True strength comes from lack of pants
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
