She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
