Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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