once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize