When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm just crazy horny about you
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
