I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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