"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
