bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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