dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
