I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Randomize
