the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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