Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize