Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
