Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
