nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
