I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize