: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
