He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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