if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
