You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
