Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
