Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
